debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
