Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
