when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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