but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
