Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
