I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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