he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
