So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
