He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
