I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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