can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize