HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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