so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
