There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
