Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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