Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fuck appropriateness.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
