It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
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That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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