I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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