just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
