I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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