ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
