I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
