Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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