also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
