This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My penis needs a shock collar
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
