Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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