I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
