I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
