Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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