Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
