oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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