Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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