Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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