I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i drank out of a bidet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
