I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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