So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
