So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she smelled like a LAN party
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
