Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I want to fling myself into the sun
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
