Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
