Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
