I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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