yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
