Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just found puke in my bra..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
