Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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