I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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