what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize