I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I did not marry a roomba.
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