it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
