Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
