I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
