Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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