I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
