i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
