You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
