Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
