He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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