I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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