Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
