I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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