no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
